from this far


hardtender


Sarah

an old séance

to whisper your name

this worn green chest

remembers everything.

dusty musky dusk

another day turned in

come alive again 

tonight.

faded ink

like memories haze

loose blood and sleep

dreaming those last days.

the wind screams out your name

one they could never forget.

close, so close

almost in my mouth

i can feel you breathing

just beyond my reach.

your sulfur blood rebirth

spills stains like clouds

i could almost hear you

if the living weren’t so loud.

go in peace

but never never leave my side

 a soulstar shining

high up in the night.

purple hour turned pink again

shone love down on me

and i knew right there and then

how to hold you from this far.


everybody has their “thing”, and most things are not for everyone.  


heartache is a poison.  with just one antidote.  which is to feel it.  all the way through.  to the end.  and i always forget that.  until i remember.


for sarah:

i write her haikus

when i’m missing her sorely

because she liked them.


piece of nothing paper

poems, stickers, notes

posters from shows she wanted to, but didn’t, go to.

all stinking of discount cigarettes.

shocked, at how i could miss

such nuisances, so much.

she sent them by mail.

each letter, i hesitated before opening,

anticipating an old conundrum:

what the hell do i do with all this shit.

never expected the value it all might have someday.

today,

when i’m scouring my sewing box of random shit,

for that one drawing

on a 3 by 3 piece of re-used card stock.

a heart with two people inside it.

drawn with black marker,

highlighted in pink and red colored pencil.

frenzy evoking piece of nothing paper.

i would trade my hand-made tarot card box, with the cards inside, for it.

if i wasn’t certain it was gone.

gone.  like her.

scared into my memory like her laugh.

guttural and sincere, it was something she loved to do.

and maybe this time,

the joke’s on me.



worse things have happened to better people.

being easy doesn’t mean being insincere.